“Where you physically place your phone may be one of the most consequential decisions you make.” - Angela Duckworth
“The problem isn’t that people lack willpower; it’s that “there are a thousand people on the other side of the screen whose job it is to break down the self-regulation you have.” ― Adam Alter
How to Model Healthy Tech Usage as an Adult
Out of sight, out of mind
Model putting your phone in another room when you need to focus deeply. Talk to kids about the impact it has on attention - studies show that even the mere presence of a smartphone reduces available brainpower (aka cognitive load).
No phones in bedrooms or bathrooms.
Don't keep your phone in the bedroom as it is too distracting and tempting to pick it up when you're trying to decompress. Keep a notebook near your bed to jot down to-do's or thoughts that you need to capture.
Keep the phone beyond arm's reach
Avoid carrying your phone around the house. Create a special docking area. Provide examples of situations where responses can wait, especially while driving or during times spent with others.
Put your phone in grayscale.
Decrease the bright and shiny object syndrome! There are tricks that allow you to easily convert it back to color when needed. Try it out today!
Avoid using multiple screens at once.
Give the activity or task your full attention.
Be mindful of the environment you setup to support the habits you want
This is not a question about willpower. it's about making smarter choices about your surroundings such as bringing a book instead of using your phone during waiting times.
Check out this blog post from Said Hasyim about the power of your environment when it comes to everyday habits.
Technology brings real risks. Talking openly before problems arise helps kids feel prepared and supported.
Here are essential topics every family should cover:
Pornography: Explain how it distorts healthy relationships and can be addictive.
Reference: Porn Addiction | ScreenStrong Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Book
Sextortion: Sextortion can start on any site, app, messaging platform, or game where people meet and communicate. Teach kids never to share images of themselves and that predators often pose as peers. Reference: FBI – Sextortion Awareness NCMEC
Drugs and Fentanyl: Warn that social media and messaging apps are used to sell dangerous substances. Reference: CDC – Fentanyl Awareness Becca Schmill Foundation
Companion Chatbots: "Social AI companions pose unacceptable risks to teens and children under 18, including encouraging harmful behaviors, providing inappropriate content, and potentially exacerbating mental health conditions". Reference: Common Sense Media – No Social Chatbots for under 18
Screens and Brain Development: Resources for explaining the impact of screens on our brains and bodies. Reference: ScreenStrong - Kids Brains and Screens
Cyberbullying and Digital Drama: Teach how online cruelty or exclusion can hurt as much as in person. Encourage kids to screenshot, block, and report.
Reference: How to Prevent Cyberbullying : A Guide for Parents, Caregivers, and Youth
Social Media Challenges: Many viral challenges encourage dangerous or self-harming behavior. They can spread quickly across platforms like YouTube, TikTok, SnapChat, etc which can cause kids to feel pressure to participate. Teach children to recognize risky trends, say no, and talk with a trusted adult.
Online Strangers and Predators: Explain that not everyone online is who they claim to be. Never share personal details, photos, or locations with someone they don’t know in real life.
Reference: online enticement
Location Sharing and Privacy: Teach kids to turn off location sharing except with family, and think carefully about what information they share online.
Reference: How Proton parents teach their kids about online privacy |
Digital Footprint and Reputation: Remind kids that what they post can last forever, even if deleted. Colleges, employers, and peers may see it. Reference: How to Protect Your Child's Digital Reputation
Scams and Phishing: Warn kids about fake messages, “free” offers, or links that ask for personal information. Encourage them to ask a parent before clicking.
Reference: National Cybersecurity Alliance – Stop. Think. Connect.
Grooming and Exploitation: Predators use games, chats, and social media to build trust. Make sure kids know they can always tell you if someone makes them uncomfortable.
Healthy Use of Time: Discuss how endless scrolling, binge-watching, or late-night texting can steal time from sleep, learning, and real-life relationships. Family Media Plans — Empowering Communities to Keep Tech in Check